Cloak of a Thousand Excuses

If you struggle to find new reasons to stay at home every time your friends ask you out, then this flamboyant cloak is just what you need. Sling it over your shoulders and it'll generate a torrent of excuses, from "I'm washing my hair" and "My Bow Meow died" to that old chestnut "A band of marauding Mastogobs destroyed my house". Mind you, it's so hideous that no one would want to be seen dead with you anyway, so its vocal talents are somewhat wasted.