St. Ballotwine's Day Hat

This magic hat can only be worn by adventurers who are not yet married, and so wearing it advertises your all-consuming desire to find a soulmate to all the other tragic loners in Amakna, who will flock around you at the nearest Zaap, clucking and squawking like broody hens. Inevitably, someone will let off a few Fairyworks in a vain attempt to win your affection, but you'll end up with a splitting headache, be unable to speak, and have the feeling that you're walking through treacle.